Ranking The Cleveland Cavaliers’ Nicknames
The King Still Reigns Supreme
Nicknames are a big part of life in the NBA. Having a nickname gives a player an identity and usually means one of two things: You’re good enough that the rest of the NBA and media respects you for your skills OR, the less favorable option, you messed up big time and now a nickname making fun of you follows you around.
Some nicknames in the NBA are really good; others not so much. With the NBA Finals starting on Thursday, it seems appropriate to rank the nicknames of the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors, starting with Cleveland.
*For the purposes of this exercise, I am using the nicknames listed on each player’s player page on Basketball-Reference*
1. LeBron James — King James
I mean, this one is pretty self-explanatory and a perfect fit. LeBron is the best player of this era and has reigned supreme over the Eastern Conference since 2011. His actions and presence have impacted the offseason decision plans of multiple teams. No nickname on the Cavs really compares.
2. JR Smith — JR Swish
Basketball-Reference also lists “The Prodigy” as a nickname for Smith, due to his entrance into the NBA straight out of high school I think, but “JR Swish” is perfect. The name represents JR’s never-ending willingness to jack up 3-pointers, no matter how bad of a shot it may be.
3. Kyle Korver — Threezus
The Cavs’ best and most reliable 3-point shooter, Korver also has “Machine Gun” listed as a nickname. “Threezus” though, can’t be topped. Korver is a three-point god, ranking 4th in career 3s made (2213), 10th in 3s attempted (5130), and 6th in career 3-point shooting (43.14%). Korver has been reliable as a burst of 3-point scoring in the playoffs and has been the Cavs second most consistent offensive weapon.
4. Cedi Osman — Jedi
Cedi Osman has only played 4.8 minutes/game over 11 games this postseason, but he’s got an awesome nickname. His first name is pronounced “Jed-e” and the nickname “Jedi” is a simple play off of that. Who doesn’t want to have a nickname associated with lightsabers and force powers?
5. Jeff Green — @unclejeffgreen on Twitter
Ok, this one was a little bit of cheating by. But Jeff Green just helped win a Game 7 for the Cavs in Boston and didn’t have a nickname listed. So I kinda appropriated “Uncle Jeff Green” to be his nickname. And to be honest, I think it kinda fits. He’s that one uncle that sometimes shows up and sometimes doesn’t. If he does it’s a great time, but he’s got lots of outside stuff going on and doesn’t reliably show up.
6. Jose Calderon — Mr. Catering
This is the point where the nicknames get not so good. Out of these last two guys with actual listed nicknames though, “Mr. Catering” takes the number six spot. You’ll see why in a second, but Mr. Catering implies food and parties which are both good things, even if they don’t directly apply to basketball.
7. Tristan Thompson — Double T
“Double T” is an okay nickname. It’s kinda bland and boring but makes sense given that Tristan Thompson’s name literal has two Ts.
Tied In Last Place: Jordan Clarkson, George Hill, Ante Zizic, Rodney Hood, and Larry Nance Jr.
No listed nicknames for any of these guys. Although SNL’s cut sketch dubbing them the “Other Cavaliers” could suffice. Alas, either way, they’d all be tied for last.
